Wednesday 2 September 2015 by Seamus Travers

‘I’m still busy catching up after bank holiday’ insists colleague who clearly has nothing to do


Man pretending to be busy

Office worker Simon Williams insists he’s still catching up after the bank holiday, despite it being clear to all concerned that he has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever.

Colleagues have been asking office administrator Williams questions since yesterday afternoon only to be rebuffed with large sighs and exasperated gestures.

“I’d love to help, I really would, but I’ve got so much work to catch up on because of the bank holiday,” Williams repeatedly insisted before heading back to the tab in his browser marked ‘Reddit’.

“I could be here to all hours” he said, before claiming he had just finished a two-hour conference call about a project he’s not involved in.

“I also have to put some numbers into a presentation pack about that thing you’ve not been briefed on.”

“Bloody bank holidays,” he added, with wave at this screen which was now showing his Facebook feed.

Others have attempted to converse with Williams today, only to be rebuffed for reasons ranging from impending deadlines, to mountains of paperwork that accumulated during the one day off everyone had this week.

Meanwhile Williams continues to tinker with his fantasy football team following the conclusion of the transfer window.

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