Wednesday 2 September 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Black actor capable of acting, Bond author told


Idris Elba

There was shock yesterday as it was revealed that a black actor is capable of acting.

The revelation came after James Bond author Anthony Horowitz expressed his concerns that popular black actor Idris Elba was too ‘street’ to play James Bond.

The shocking revelation came about after someone watched The Wire and noticed that the character ‘Stringer Bell,’ was an American, whereas the actor who played him, Mr Elba, is English.

“The only conclusion it’s possible to draw from this,” said acting expert James Calderwood.

“Is that Idris Elba was acting, in that he was pretending to be someone other than who he is, which is fundamentally the job of an actor.”

“I mean, I suppose he could have changed his nationality to American, moved to Baltimore and ensconced himself in the criminal underworld out there, but acting seems much more plausible.”

Further investigation has proved that other black actors have secretly been ‘acting’ for quite some time, with Will Smith, for example, not actually a fresh Prince at all, Billy Dee Williams almost certainly not actually Han Solo’s best mate and Administrator of Cloud City, and Samuel L Jackson not a great big slice of ham.

And of course Bill Cosby has spent the vast majority of his career acting like he isn’t a rapist.

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