Tuesday 1 September 2015

UKIP to launch its own ‘Biggest No EVER’ campaign for EU referendum


UKIP Vote No

UKIP are to launch their own ‘No’ campaign for the EU referendum, insisting the current ‘No’ campaign simply isn’t strident enough for their core supporters.

UKIP leader Nigel Farage claimed that simply voting to say you don’t want to be in the EU any more is not even close to being anti-EU enough for his party and it’s supporters.

He told reporters, “Simply saying ‘No’ in the referendum is not the sort of message we want to send to the EU.  We want to send a message that says ‘Absolutely definitely positively No you bunch of shitbag Eurocrats’ – which is why we’re running our own campaign.”

“Rest assured we will focus on all the horrifically racist policies you’ve come to know and expect from UKIP, except now we’re excited by the proposition of actually winning something.”

“We want people to associate voting ‘no’ with thinking all foreigners are dirty scroungers and that they’re coming over here with their Aids and numerous children.”

“Ask yourself, do you think brown people smell weird? Vote ‘Biggest No EVER’.”

“Do you feel a sudden and inexplicable rage when your waitress has an accent you can’t place? Vote ‘Biggest No EVER’.”

When asked if UKIP would cease to exist if the country voted to the leave the EU, Farage categorically denied the suggestion.

He said, “Christ no, there are literally hundreds more inappropriate things for us to vehemently oppose with barely-concealed xenophobia, we’ll just move on to the next one.”

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