Tuesday 1 September 2015 by DavyWavy

Notting Hill Carnival successfully concludes annual rain dance


Notting Hill carnival rain dance

The Notting Hill Carnival successfully concluded its annual rain dance, organisers claimed this morning.

The event, which takes place every August Bank Holiday, organises thousands of enthusiastic and brightly-clad dancers through the streets of London in the largest event of its kind and has ensured Britain has not had a single sunny day since 1966.

A spokesman for the event explained this morning that the ancient Celtic rain gods of Britain were very happy with how things went and will now make sure it pisses pretty much solidly it down for the next twelve months until the next event in gratitude.

“We’re already seeing the results of our efforts”, we were told.

“Without the carnival ensuring plentiful rains, Britain would risk the rain god Taranis withdrawing his favour and making the sun come out from time to time.”

“Would you risk a bad harvest just for a nice tan and the opportunity to eat Ice-Cream without needing an umbrella and a windbreak? No, we thought not.”

“La la la, we’re not listening,” he added.

Already the results of the event have become clear with heavy downpours across the country being met with the traditional joyful cries of “Crap,  I forgot my umbrella,” and “I’ve just lit this fucking barbecue.”

Meanwhile a spokesman for Scotland said that this year’s rain dance at the Edinburgh Tattoo would go ahead as planned, in order to ensure the two hundredth successive year of constant drizzle.

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