Tuesday 1 September 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Jeremy Corbyn criticised for controversial hat comment


Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is at the centre of another political storm over his controversial comments about wearing a hat.

Popping out to get a newspaper he noticed it looked like rain and proclaimed ‘I think I’ll wear a hat’.

His comments have been slammed as politically naïve at best and brazenly offensive at their worst.

“I think it shows exactly Jeremy’s true colours,” said leadership rival Liz Kendall.

“Obviously, in an ideal world we’d all like to wear a hat, but it is typical of Jeremy’s airy-fairy politics of dreamland that he thinks it is acceptable to wear a hat, but you cannot simply wear a hat without considering the consequences.”

Andy Burnham adopted a conciliatory tone.

“Jeremy can’t just run his mouth off about hats. That said, the last thing I want to do is offend anyone, ever. So let’s all be friends.”

Yvette Cooper ran several focus groups and consulted with her numerous advisors before concluding:

“Hats. Hmmm, yes, hats.”

The Corbyn camp desperately tried to spin their leader’s comments.

“Look, seriously, are you people going to say that literally everything Jeremy says is controversial?”

“He just popped out for a pee, is that ‘Jeremy Corbyn in controversial urine shocker?’ He ordered a cheese sandwich – ‘Corbyn slams ham?’ He just called for his dog – ‘Jeremy believes humans and animals should live together as man and wife’?”

But the controversy refused to go away with ex-UN peace and irony envoy Tony Blair weighing in once again

“I could make him go away. I mean, seriously. I know people.”

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