Monday 31 August 2015 by DavyWavy

Gun control lobbyists volunteer to go round and take them off people personally


Gun controls

Gun control lobbyists in the USA have pledged to go and collect the most dangerous firearms in person if they are banned, we can report today.

The offer comes after studies showed that firearms might pose some small health risks if used for their intended purpose.

Campaigners are proposing restrictions on the ownership of firearms, and claim to be very confident heavily-armed people will happily hand them over “without making any trouble.”

“The police and army are very busy so clearly if we get the legislative change we want it would be morally incumbent on us to go and disarm people ourselves”, we were told.

“If someone has an AR-15 rifle or a Barratt .50 calibre sniper rifle we’ll just pop round and take it off them in person.”

“Americans are reasonable people so we don’t expect there’d be any difficulties.”

“What could possibly go wrong?”

Campaigners are confident that the process wouldn’t take more than a week or two as they are sure gun owners would be amenable to handing their firearms in without trouble if the debate goes against them.

The NRA has proposed putting bins in public places where members would simply dump their unwanted and illegal guns.

“Well, we put up a good fight but if we lose, well, it was fun whilst it lasted”, said spokesperson Mary-Bob Bobson.

“Just come round and get them, boy. You’ll take my guns from my law-abiding fingers.”

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