Friday 28 August 2015 by DavyWavy

Pet shop sued after Golden Retriever fails to retrieve any gold


Golden Retriever

A man is to sue his local pet shop after the Golden Retriever they sold him failed to retrieve any gold.

Local moron Simon Williams, 51, bought the dog in the hope of making a fortune but now believes he was deceived and is suing under the Trades Descriptions Act.

“Normally I buy up to a dozen lottery tickets every week, as an investment, like”, Barry told us.

“But when I saw this dog advertised I realised that there might be a better way to get rich quick.”

“But in six months I’ve spent a fortune on dog food and in return it’s not retrieved me any gold at all.”

“The closest we’ve come is some silver foil from a takeaway burrito, which was worse than useless.”

Barry is now demanding his money back, plus some gold to make up for the distress.

The pet shop owner has defended himself in a statement, pointing out that some people are fucking morons and there’s not a great deal you can do about that.

In related news, 23-year-old Emma Bunting-Hanger of Braintree was today given a six month sentence for animal cruelty after claiming she was “totally misled” by the description of the chocolate Labrador she bought.

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