Friday 21 August 2015 by DavyWavy

Germany seeks new Prime Minister for Greece


Angela Merkel

The German government has announced it is looking for a new Prime Minister for Greece with immediate effect.

The vacancy arose after previous incumbent Alexis Tsipras dramatically resigned this evening after realising he’d done the exact opposite of what he said he was going to.

The Germans have promised there will be no disruption caused by Tsipras’ departure and have hastened to reassure global markets they will find a replacement as quickly as possible.

Chancellor Angela Merkel has announced that the ideal candidate for the job will be fluent in German and English and able to take dictation at 60 words per minute. The ability to speak Greek is desirable, but not essential.

The Greek people have been promised that new elections will take place to appoint their new Prime Minister as quickly as possible, and they needn’t worry if they get it wrong as they can vote again and again until they make the right choice.

“An orderly transition of power in Greece is absolutely essential,” a German government spokesman told us.

“It’s vitally important that the process of Greece borrowing money off us to pay us back the money they owe us isn’t disrupted.”

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