Friday 21 August 2015

Awful visitor attractions rebranding as Banksy exhibits


Terrible visitor attractions now by Banksy

Every terrible visitor attraction in the country is rebranding as a Banksy exhibit, according to sources this morning.

With Banksy’s ironic and sarcastic Dismaland proving wildly popular with visitors, the god-awful visitor attraction near you will claim to have been designed by the anonymous artist.

Having a horrible time at a price that makes grown men cry is now more lucrative than ever before, and purveyors of utterly shite experiences are keen to cash in.

Basingstoke resident Simon Williams told us, “Near me there’s a go-kart track where the karts are all pedal power and the karts were plastic moulded in the 70s.”

“It’s a fiver a go, and this morning when I drove past it said ‘Banksy’s Speedsters’. The utter twats.”

The Cumberland Pencil Museum in Keswick has already bought a new sign which claims the entire venue was ‘inspired by Banksy’.

A spokesperson explained, “It means we can tell everyone as they leave that they were meant to be bored rigid, that it’s all a statement on society – and no you can’t have your money back.”

Every winter wonderland experience across the nation will now be ‘designed by Banksy’ in order to justify the horrific pricing, a piss-poor Santa Claus with a brummie accent, and a couple of dogs in antlers pretending to be reindeer.

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