Thursday 20 August 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Jeremy Corbyn prepares for government by forgetting meetings with dodgy bastards


Jeremy Corbyn meeting dodgy bastard

Labour leadership candidate, Jeremy Corbyn, took another step towards power yesterday by forgetting all about his association with someone a tad unsavoury.

Corbyn had said “I don’t know who that is” when questioned about meeting Dyab Abou Jahjah, a Lebanese activist who has previously suggested that dead British soldiers are brilliant and also ruined Star Wars: Episode I, according to Sky News.

However, it later transpired that Mr. Corbyn had indeed met Mr. Abou JahJah, causing the Labour leadership to claim he must have “forgotten” about their meeting, in the same way David Cameron forgot about his kids in the pub or Nick Clegg forgot about his promise to cut university tuition fees.

“It’s another big tick in the credibility box,” beamed Labour spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“All the great leaders have had meetings with wankers and then laughed them off afterward. Remember when Blair got all cosy with Gadaffi? You’d think he could never recover from such a meeting.”

“But Gadaffi managed to get past it and maintain a credible leadership stance for many years afterward.”

“We are only an expenses scandal away from Jeremy being viewed as a proper politician by the media, as opposed to some kind of voodoo soothsayer with a funky beard.”

Corbyn’s opponents have been quick to forget their own encounters with dodgy bastards.

Andy Burnham has denied ever watching the Jimmy Saville Show as a child, Yvette Cooper has suggested she never sat on Santa’s knee, and Liz Kendall also said something, but as this stage it’s not really worth your attention.

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