Tuesday 18 August 2015 by Neil Tollfree

David Cameron treated for conscience whilst on holiday


David Cameron attack of conscience

David Cameron has suffered a bout of conscience whilst on holiday in Portugal and is recovering after treatment from local doctors.

The Prime Minister’s attack of conscience came whilst surfing (it is understood that Mr Cameron will be auditioning for a part in the new Point Break remake after he steps down as PM).

“I just assumed it was some random ham-faced man surfing,” said English tourist and witness Simon Williams.

“Then he just started screaming ‘oh Christ what have I done,’ ‘I’ve broken the NHS,’ and ‘I’m a terrible, terrible shit.”

“I managed to pull him out of the sea and he was just lying there, his face a pale rictus grin of terror, like when he has to speak to working class people on the telly, except much worse.”

“Then before I knew what was happening, a local doctor was treating him.”

Attacks of conscience amongst politicians are rare but can be quite debilitating.

Margaret Thatcher locked herself in a toilet cubicle for four hours muttering ‘the miners, the miners.’

Tony Blair nearly crashed his bike when struck by a brief micro-conscience attack about the Iraq War.

Both, however, made full recoveries and went on to finish their terms without any further shred of conscience, and Mr Cameron is expected to do likewise.

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