Monday 17 August 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Taking photos of children you don’t know is definitely fine, confirms paparazzi


Paparazi

A shady-as-fuck photographer has reassured the public that there is nothing creepy about photographing toddlers through a long lens.

Malcolm McTwatt made the statement in a rare break from trying to lure Prince George out of the wendy house to get a nice, clear photo that he will then sell for money.

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” said McTwatt, midway through laying a trail of sweets from the playground towards the boot of his car, “creativity is what being a papso is all about.”

“Well, alright, creativity and lying in gutters to take photos up famous women’s skirts. Although that’s pretty creative, when you really think about it.”

“I have every right to take photographs of a small child, as long as he’s famous and nobody sees me.”

A Buckingham Palace spokesperson said “yeah, you might want to run that through your conscience a few times.”

“These photographers are putting their own lives at risk. It really is incredibly easy for our trained security specialists to mistake a massive camera for a handgun.”

“I don’t want to say that these photographers will end up getting hurt, but let’s say we’ve all learned a few tricks since that princess had that little ‘accident’ of hers.”

Local sex offender, Simon North, said “blimey, so that’s it, I should have taken a camera with me.”

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