Wednesday 12 August 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Man on Facebook far too busy to receive Candy Crush Saga requests


Facebook game requests

Dull man Simon Williams announced on Facebook yesterday that he was simply far too busy to have to deal with Candy Crush Saga requests appearing in his Facebook timeline.

“Right, that’s it,” he posted, clearly livid.

“I’ve had enough of these bloody Candy Crush things appearing on my timeline. I’m 38 for Christ sake, I’ve got no time to play bloody silly games.

Mr Williams then went on to post a link to a video of a cat wearing a top hat, a status update about what he was having for his tea (‘sausages’), and a tumblr of hardcore lesbian pornography.

The Tumblr link was taken down shortly afterwards.

The offending request for a Candy Crush life appears to have been sent from colleague Chris Paul from the gents toilets at his place of work.

When questioned about the controversial request he responded robustly.

“Tell the mardy sod to nob off,” he said.

“Yes, that’s about right,” said Mr Williams

“It’d be just like Chris not to have anything better to do than playing stupid games like Candy Crush,” he said after the outburst.

“Patheitic, really,” he continued, shaking his head before returning to watching cycle maintenance videos on Youtube.

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