Tuesday 11 August 2015

Man who waved back at woman who wasn’t actually waving at him ‘unlikely to recover’


Man waving

A man who waved back at a woman on the street after mistakenly believing she was waving at him may never recover, according to doctors this morning.

33-year-old Simon Williams was waiting for a bus on his way to work when he believed 29-year-old Emily Matthews was waving at him.

Doctors predict he may never be able to relive the moment without feeling the need to vomit out of sheer embarrassment.

“I didn’t know her, or recognise her, but she seemed insistent on getting my attention so I waved back and smiled… oh God it’s making me feel sick just thinking about it,” admitted Williams.

“The doctors say I should talk about it, but it’s just… mortifying.

“I waved for what now feels like about half an hour before she refocused on me – confused – before the guy behind me said ‘I think she’s waving at me mate’.

“I know now I should have made a joke or something, but instead I pretended I wasn’t actually waving at her anyway, but at someone behind her who had now gone into one of the shops that weren’t actually open yet.

“Oh Jesus, I think I’m going to be sick again.

“Then the two of them hugged and started talking about their day ahead, when I just know they couldn’t wait to talk about me.

“Then I made it worse by repeating for her benefit that I wasn’t waving at her, but at someone who had gone into one of the shops that isn’t open yet.

“She looked at me and said ‘whatever’.

“That’s it I’m going to be sick again, excuse me.”

At which point the doctors explained Mr Williams should not answer any more questions.

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