Thursday 6 August 2015 by DavyWavy

London commuters confused and unhappy as tube strike forces them to confront reality


Tube strike passengers

Commuters in London are seeing the sun for the first time today, as tube strikes force them above ground.

London commuters are a primarily subterranean species, and being driven from the underground has left many confused and lost.

Emerging from holes in the ground, blinking morlock-like against the light, thousands are reported to be simply staring in silent wonder at the sky, wondering what it is.

Others have been seen crouching in existential terror as the crushing weight of the limitless expanse above them overwhelms their senses.

“Excuse me, mate”, one asked us on a street corner. “How do you get from Kings Cross to Euston?”

“It’s normally only one stop. You get in the train, there’s some rattling, and then the doors open and there you are.”

“What do I do now? What does it mean? What am I for?”

“And what is a ‘bus’?”

When we told him it was only a short walk he broke down and cried.

“I’ll give you fifty pounds if you carry me,” he offered.

Television crews have been following the newly emerged commuters, catching the silent, beautiful moment one first sees a tree or speaks to another human being.

Whilst some commuters may respond to their brief sojourn above ground like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, it is expected most will return to their burrows tomorrow and pretend this never happened.

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