Wednesday 5 August 2015

Search parties ‘giving up hope’ in hunt for good reason not to like Jeremy Corbyn


Jeremy Corbyn

Volunteers looking for a good reason not to like Jeremy Corbyn are on the verge of giving up hope, according to sources today.

With search parties scouring archives, interviews and video footage for several weeks now, experts claim that a viable, genuine reason to dislike the man leading the labour leadership campaign is unlikely to be found.

As one search professional told us, “After this amount of time, you’d expect a legitimate reason to dislike him would have been found and paraded in front of the cameras in some sort of celebration.”

“But at this point we have to admit that the chances of finding a reason – especially one showing any signs of life – are infinitesimally small.”

“We might just have to accept the awful truth of him being quite likeable.”

Jeremy Corbyn

Those within the search parties themselves have said they’re not quite ready to give up.

Volunteer Simon Williams told us, “I genuinely believe we’ll find it. I know the reason to dislike him is out there. Somewhere.”

“With the amount of mud that has been slung in his direction, there has to be something about him we can take a massive dislike to.”

However another member of the same search party said they would have to make do with what they’ve found already.

They told us, “Well, there’s the beard – obviously. And the fact that he’s quite old.”

“And then there’s that photo where he’s sat next to Gerry Adams. I know it was in the middle of the Northern Ireland peace process, but it still looks bad.”

“Yeah, we’re really struggling.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: