Monday 3 August 2015 by DavyWavy

Lovejoy to appear in Game of Thrones


Ian Mcshane

Popular 90’s television antiques dealer Lovejoy has been cast in series 6 of Game of Thrones.

The chirpy antiquarian with a roving eye for the ladies is being brought in to introduce a bit of much-needed levity to the series now that Tyrion has gone all dark and tortured.

Lovejoy’s plot arc is reported to involve a search for a legendary blade of Valyrian steel which takes him ‘all over Westeros and beyond’ in a succession of scrapes and encounters with other major characters.

It is suggested that actor Ian McShane demanded an ‘unprecedented’ amount of female nudity be written into his contract as a condition for reprising the role.

“What the series really needs is a witty midget with a roving eye”, series producers told us.

“It was a big problem for us until we were watching UK Gold at 3am one night and there the answer was, right in front of us.”

“We think an antiques dealer will bring an entirely new dynamic to an otherwise staid and generic world of wizards, dragons and the walking dead.”

The actor has apparently already shot several dramatic scenes, including one in which he and Jamie Lannister go head to head in a nail-biting auction in a Midlands sale-room, and another in which he convinces several members of House Tyrell to sell him a rare commode for a price considerably less than it’s worth.

Lovejoy, who was well known for breaking through the fourth wall and talking to the audience, then turns to the camera with a wink and tells viewers that it’s the same toilet Tyron was shot on which greatly increases collector value.

Seasoned Game of Thrones-watchers are already speculating about a future direction for the character.

“Ian McShane has black hair like Robert Baratheon. Does that mean he’s another illegitimate son?” asked one, whilst online forums are already frenziedly suggesting what Lovejoy’s first name might turn out to be, and whether that will have an outcome on the rest of the series.

“Do you think he’ll end up as king?” asked one.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: