Thursday 30 July 2015

Migrants dying in Channel Tunnel urged to call themselves ‘Cecil’


Cecil the Lion

Migrants risking their lives to travel through the channel tunnel have been told to give themselves a nice friendly name like ‘Cecil’ to make sure people give a toss whether they live or die.

With thousands more migrants willing to risk death just to enter the country, millions of Britons are still steadfastly refusing to give the tiniest of shits about their welfare.

Briton and staunch supporter of anti-migrant policies Simon Williams told, “If thousands of immigrants are trying to get through the tunnel, then of course a few of them are going to die.”

“That shouldn’t stop us turning them all back the moment they get here.”

“The ones who die are probably called things like Humzah and Mustafa anyway. Why should I care about them?”

“Wait, the one who died was called Cecil? Thats…terrible. Oh my God. Why wasn’t more done to help poor loveable Cecil get through the tunnel?”

“Cecil never hurt anyone.”

Channel Tunnel migrants

Not everyone is inclined to care about the life of an immigrant, no matter what their name is.

As another explained, “Look, you can try to make me care about an immigrant as much as a lion all you like, but it won’t work, because they’re completely different.”

“One is nothing but a selfish predatory creature that takes whatever it wants and would sit on its arse all day letting someone else feed and support it if it could, and the other is an immigrant.”

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