Thursday 30 July 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Liberal Democrats still unable to find anyone who gives a toss about their new leader


Liberal Democrats

There is disappointment in the Liberal Democrat ‘party’ as they remain unable to find a single man, woman or child who could care less that they’ve got a new leader.

“We were a critical part of Government for five years,” said a lib-dem insider.

“Well, alright, maybe not critical, but someone has to darn the Prime Minister’s socks.”

“It should be news that we’ve got a new leader. The Telegraph had us on page five, behind a story about a dog who can count and Katie Price getting a third breast. “

“That paper really has gone downhill.”

It’s been two weeks since the leadership announcement and literally no-one in the country gives a flying one.

“The Lib-Dems?” said cabbage-strainer Simon Williams.

“Couldn’t give a two-bob bit, if I’m honest.”

Even members of the party struggled to be bothered.

“Oh, that’s right, we’ve got a new leader,” said one senior Lib-Dem MP who asked not to be named.

“Tim someone, beat the other chap, the one with the hair. Can’t say I’d noticed to be honest. I’ve spent the last two months slumped on the sofa sobbing and drinking cheap whisky.”

“It’s not easy being a Lib-Dem in 2015.”

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