Thursday 30 July 2015

Labour supporters start hedge funds build media empires to influence next Tory leadership campaign


Banker hedge fund

Labour supporters are seeking to influence the next leader of the Conservative party by starting hedge funds and building billion dollar media empires.

In a move that experts are calling ‘dishonest’ many traditional Labour supporters have said that if the Conservatives didn’t want outsiders influencing Tory party leadership decisions, then they shouldn’t have made it so easy.

Labour supporter Simon Williams explained, “Look, people will say it’s dishonest, but if building a global media empire is all it takes to influence the Conservative party’s choice of leader – then that’s what I’ll do.”

“They’ve made it obvious that you can have the ear of anyone in the party if you’ve got enough money, so how they can expect us not to abuse that policy I don’t know?”

“I’ve already started a couple of newspapers and a TV station. We’ll probably go into Internet delivery next.”

“Then, in a couple of years, I’ll make sure they pick a really unlikeable right-winger, someone like George Osborne, as the next Conservative leader, and ensure they’re unelectable for a generation.”

Conservative leadership

Another Labour supporter said he is in the process of starting his own hedge fund and a career in the city just so he can make sure George Osborne becomes the next leader of the Conservative party.

He told us, “I get it, people think it’s really unfair that I can do this.”

“But frankly getting a couple of billion in assets under management is well worth it to get Osborne elected as leader.”

“You might say we’re abusing the way in which the Tories normally pick their leaders, but I would say we’re just playing them at their own game.”

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