Wednesday 29 July 2015 by S Beck

UKIP furious as immigrants allowed to enter ‘Great British Bake Off’


UKIP British bake off

A UKIP spokesman has denounced the decision to allow a French resident to enter the Great British Bake Off.

The spokesman read the following statement: “A French immigrant has been allowed to compete in an event that should be for us Brits only. Let’s face it, it’s in the title of the bloody show.”

“Not all the contestants are white which is a disgrace when you consider that baking is a white middle class pursuit; baking is going the way of fox hunting!”

UKIP supporters have suggested that the SNP and Jeremy Corbyn are responsible for the downfall of a British institution.

Maureen Wilson, a UKIP supporter aged 72, had the following thoughts, “It’s those bloody leftists destroying the last of our true traditions whereby an indigenous white Briton wins the Great British Bake Off.”

“I was furious in 2013 when two non-whites made the final but thankfully racial superiority won the day and Frances ended up winning with her Shakespeare inspired cake!”

The SNP have reversed years of tradition where they refused to back a winner for the Great British Bake Off for fear of annoying English viewers of the programme.

“If Flora can’t win this year then no English person should be allowed to win, it is the will of the Scottish people,” claimed Nicola Sturgeon, leader of the SNP.

“As soon as Flora is knocked out we will fully support Marie, she may live in France now and not be capable of voting in the upcoming referendum, but hailing from Perthshire she has to be superior to the Margaret Thatcher supporting Tories that make up the rest of the cast.”

“If there is no Dundee cake in the series then the BBC have truly shown their unionist face!”

Paul Hollywood has denied that the winner had already been decided, in order to suit the viewing public.

“We have a great bunch of bakers this year, “ he stated, “I will try to ignore the Dalai Lama’s threats of a ‘shanking’ if Ian, his photographer, doesn’t win this year.”

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