Thursday 23 July 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Extracts from Britain First facebook page being used for primary school English tests


Britain First Facebook page

Rightwing shit-flinging group, Britain First, is up in arms today after being informed that their Facebook page is being plagiarised by Primary School English teachers.

Phrases such as “blody moose limbs stealin r jobs,,,, its a discrace” (sic, obviously) are being put in front of 5 to 7 year-olds for them to correct so that the words actually form proper sentences.

“Most of the children are confused at first” said Mrs. Pinder, who teaches Years 1 and 2.

“I think we all would be when reading from that page.”

“But after a few minutes it clicks, and they manage to easily correct the sentence to properly read as ‘I’m a minority in my own country’.”

“Honestly, I’ve managed to fill up around eight weeks of lessons with this shit. It’s a doddle.”

“All I do is log-on the evening before, copy and paste a few comments, and that’s a whole afternoon taken care of.”

One or two people have suggested that it might not be appropriate for children to be reading the ramblings of a pack of reactionary bigots.

“It won’t make much odds” said Mrs. Pinder, “Trust me, you should meet some of their parents.”

Members of Britain First, of which there are definitely hundreds of thousands, were predictably unhappy and logged on in their dozens to complain.

“Itz a disc crace” commented Barry Twuntkins on the Britain First Facebook page, “thes teachers r jus lukin to discredit the gr8 work dat Britten Furst r doin.”

“Perfect, thanks Barry” said Mrs. Pinder.

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