Saturday 18 July 2015

Royal Nazi film gives Prince Philip his best erection ‘in decades’


Prince Philip Duke of Edinburgh

After a film of the young Queen making a Nazi salute surfaced yesterday, Prince Philip has revealed to friends that he’s never had an erection quite like it.

The film, shot in 1933, shows Queen Elizabeth as young girl encouraged to perform a Nazi salute by her uncle, Edward VIII, with Prince Philip absolutely delighted to see how keen she was to follow his lead.

A Prince Philip told friends, “See, I knew she had it in her, I think it’s time to have the conversation again I reckon.”

“Every time I’ve tried the Nazi salute at Buckingham palace she’s called me a racist old bastard – but clearly I was going about it all the wrong way.”

“I will just have to study the film and see exactly what Edward did to make Elizabeth so happy to adopt the Nazi salute.”

“The thought of Lizzie walking the Corgis in the garden whilst goose stepping around the lawn with her right arm and hand in the air leaves me as excited as a teenager.”

“I don’t want to boast, but I haven’t been this hard since 1984 when I was watching the police beat those striking miners.”

“Rampant fascism gets me so hot.”

Royal Nazi salute

Palace insiders have said the Queen is disappointed that the 80 year-old film has resurfaced, and more so that it has given Prince Philip renewed optimism that she might be willing to give the Nazi lifestyle a go.

As one insider explained, “He’s been pestering her constantly since the film surfaced, and he’s even had his valet get his Nazi uniform cleaned and pressed.”

“He’s waited 60 years for this opportunity, so he doesn’t look like giving up any time soon.”

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