Thursday 16 July 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Matthew Wright and Jeremy Kyle actually the same person


Matthew Wright or Jeremy Kyle

Two eponymous TV talk show hosts have admitted to being one and the same, it was revealed today.

It was thought that Matthew Wright and Jeremy Kyle were completely separate entities but it now transpires they are one and the same; a man from Wolverhampton whose legal name is Kyle Matthews.

“It all started as a drunken dare, really,” Said Matthews.

“But then the checks started pouring in and greed took over. It was like playing both parts of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, with Dr. Jekyll being a fairly harmless non-entity, and Mr. Hyde being someone who baits poor people on national television.”

“It’s depressing to see how much more I get paid for being Kyle than Matthews.”

Matthews was finally rumbled while attempting to cross between television studios by hiding in a laundry truck.

“It was a stupid plan” said Matthews, “the Jeremy Kyle show really doesn’t generate that much laundry, so I was basically hiding under my own jacket.”

“For someone who has kept this ruse going for over ten years, I really do have my moments of startling stupidity.”

It is not yet known if Kyle Matthews will continue to portray the two characters, or simply give it up and return to his simple accounting job in the West Country.

“I do miss the old spreadsheets” said a wistful Matthews, “but the amount of money I get paid for basically talking out loud twice a day is frankly too good to give up.”

Suspicions were first aroused around Matthews when a top-drawer online news site accidentally published a photo of Matthew Wright and identified him as Jeremy Kyle, leading everyone to immediately realise they were looking at the exact same person.

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