Friday 10 July 2015 by Neil Tollfree

‘Scum’ musical announced


Scum musical

The trend for new musical theatre based on working class British cinema is to continue with a musical based on harrowing borstal drama ‘Scum’.

Following another film-turned-musical ‘Bend it Like Beckham’, new musical ‘Scum’ is set for a lengthy run in the West End.

“Like many people, I’m a huge admirer of Alan Clarke’s ‘Scum’,” said producer Cameron Mackintosh.

“But I’ve always thought that I could improve it by adding a couple of jaunty sing-along numbers, and a big, sad slow one for the girls.”

It is understood the show will stick closely to the plot of the film, with a highlight being a full chorus of boys singing ‘I’m the Daddy now,’ whilst juggling snooker balls in socks.

“Another scene we’re tremendously excited by is the scene where Carlin asks Rhodes to be his missus.

In the film, it’s rather dark and threatening, so we’re going to play it as a farce and have Carlin rap the proposal to some eighties hip hop.”

Musical fan and congenital idiot Simon Williams was thrilled.

“Yay! Brillo news,” he squealed.

“I’ve never seen ‘Scum,’ it sounds horrid. But that’s what’s so great about musicals; all these dreary films that no one’s heard of can be made all fun and nice and then everyone wants to go and see them.”

Not everyone is excited at the prospect.

“Well, it’s stupid,” said an increasingly disillusioned actor in the West End.

“But still not as stupid as Mike Read’s Oscar Wilde musical.”

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