Tuesday 7 July 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Greek school children invited to design state flag for ‘New South Germany’


New German flag for Greece

Greek children between the ages of 5 and 12 are to take part in a competition to design a flag for a ‘prosperous new land’.

“New South Germany” is expected to debut in the coming weeks as a replacement for the crumbling former nation of Greece, and will start by gluing all of those plates back together and stop being so ruddy wasteful.

“I’m really excited,” said 8 year-old Natasha Orthodoxou, “I’m going to draw a big eagle on fire and crashing into the sea.”

“It doesn’t really mean anything but it looks really cool. A bit like our last leader of Greece.”

The winner of the contest will receive a college scholarship, and a training course in fiscal responsibility.

“Nothing says ‘fun’ like fiscal responsibility” said New South Germany’s marketing manager, Hans Von Sprundt.

“It is important we teach our young people early that spaffing one’s money up the side of the Parthenon is a one-way ticket to oblivion.”

“By the way, don’t get too attached to the Parthenon, it’s going to be levelled and replaced by something more sensible.”

The flag contest represents the second nationwide competition for Greek schoolchildren in as many weeks; the first being entitled “Design a way out of economic destitution. Show your method.”

That first contest was won by a 7 year-old who suggested, “just do what the EU says for a bit so that we can have some money”, although the idea was never followed through by the Greek government.

“Long live glorious New South Germany!” exclaimed Hans Von Sprundt.

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