Thursday 25 June 2015 by DavyWavy

Ed Miliband exercises his right to be forgotten


Ed Miliband

Former Labour leader Ed Whatsisname is exercising his legal right to be forgotten, we can report today.

The politician, who is alleged to have fought a general election campaign only weeks ago, has apparently asked that all eight references to him on the Internet be removed.

Reports indicate that Milithingy has decided to retire from the public gaze to pursue private interests and hopes that press interest in him will fade with time, although insiders suggest he may have mistaken his neighbour for a prying journalist.

“Ed feels it’s time to regain his privacy and get on with living his life,” a spokesman told a completely empty room.

“He asked for space after the election but when he googled his name the other day, there here was – Bang! – fourth page.”

“He feels this sort of intrusive journalism is exactly what he entered and then left politics to tackle.”

Oojimaflipiband apparently intends to go for long, solitary walks in the park, stopping occasionally to talk to random, unidentifiable passers-by about Fabianism and M2 monetary theory before thinking very deeply about what they say.

The Labour party is currently searching for a replacement for Miliband, with the leading candidates being Andy Thingummy, Liz Whatchermacallher, Yvette Onthetipofmytongue and Jeremy Corbyn.

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