Thursday 18 June 2015 by DavyWavy

Rachel Dolezal to join reformed Black & White Minstrel show


Rachel Dolezal

Former NAACP chapter president Rachel Dolezal is to reform the Black and White Minstrels, we can report today.

Dolezal, who has pretended to be black for some years, insisted that she ‘would not drop character’ and instead would use her membership of the Minstrels to highlight ongoing issues of stereotyping faced by representatives of the black community, such as her and Ali G.

Dolezal has insisted she always identified as black, and has gone to great lengths to get ‘the look’, including crimping her hair and covering herself with fake tan several yards thick.

She suggested that she had been inspired in her efforts by Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder, but now she intends to take her pretense one step further and get herself up like Al Jolson, in an attempt to further build bridges with her African-American brethren.

“By painting myself with boot polish and singing Swanee and Ol’ Man River I can help highlight the prejudices faced by many African-Americans such as myself,” she said.

“I can really make a difference in perception.”

“What black people really need to help them overcome their problems is a middle-class white person like me pretending to be one of them and taking over the running of their institutions.”

“I’d walk a million miles for one of their smiles,” she added.

Electricians for her forthcoming tour told us that power for the stage show will be zero-carbon, as it will be generated entirely by attaching a dynamo to Malcolm X spinning in his grave.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: