Thursday 18 June 2015 by Tom Whalley

Florence & The Machine To Replace Greece In EU


Florence and the machine to replace Greece in EU

Florence & The Machine have been drafted in to replace Greece in the European Union after the country had its leg broken by Germany.

The move comes after Greece borrowed an absolute bunch of money so that everyone could retire at 50 and have a really lovely time.

After refusing to pay back any of the money, German chancellor, Angela Merkel, was forced into taking matters into her own hands.

The cancellation comes after it pulled out of events in Sweden and Belgium.

EU leaders were forced to act quickly to replace Greece, breaking the news in a series of tweets, which read:

@EuropeanUnion:
We’re sorry to say that Greece has had to pull out of its appearance. Stay tuned for news of the replacement…..

@EuropeanUnion
And the replacement for Greece is………

@EuropeanUnion
….. @FlorenceAndTheMachine #EUGotTheLove

The move was not unanimously well-received, however:

@Turkey
F & The Fucking M? U R taking the piss, mate @EuropeanUnion

Despite the story being all over the media, most people we spoke to were not really bothered either way.

Most of them agreed that the EU was way better in the 90s when it had a massive fence.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

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