Monday 15 June 2015 by Tom Whalley

David Cameron promises referendum on Magna Carta


David Cameron magna carta referendum

David Cameron’s pledge of an in-out referendum on the Magna Carta has been warmly greeted by mad Kings everywhere.

Speaking at a ceremony to mark the 800th anniversary of the document, Cameron told the assembled crowd of his plans to ‘let the people decide’.

He said, “For too long medieval barons have interfered in UK laws and restricted the rights of our monarchs to be absolutely mental.”

“Game of Thrones has demonstrated that the UK has an appetite for Kings who are perfectly comfortable with burning their own children.”

“You’re all watching it even though only three of you actually have Sky Atlantic.”

The move is thought to have gone down well with Prince George who has been doing unspeakable things to the Queen’s Corgis, has beheaded a Peppa Pig, and constructed a rudimentary torture chamber out of his Duplo bricks.

The Labour Party has been quick to respond, positioning itself as the party of the Barons.

Interim party leader Harriet Harman told us, “We will defend the rights of hard-working Barons to not have their daughters sold without their express permission.”

“Although wasn’t Thatcher a type of Baron? Or was she a witch? Is a witch a type of Baron? Britain is getting bloody ridiculous.”

We asked Roualeyn Robert Hovell-Thurlow-Cumming-Bruce, 9th Baron Thurlow for a comment.

“As a modern Baron I have absolutely no interest in the politics of the United Kingdom.”

“Now if you don’t mind I’m off for a quiet afternoon and a bit of a nap in the House Of Lords. Toodlepip.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: