Friday 12 June 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Nude female mountaineer condemned by men who can’t find photo on Google


Angry Google search for Eleanor hawkins photo

Eleanor Hawkins, the Derbyshire woman who stripped naked for photos on a sacred mountain in Malaysia has been roundly condemned by men unable to find the photos on Google.

“I think it’s a bloody disgrace,” said closet pervert Simon Williams.

“This idiot woman has shown tremendous disrespect by undressing on one of the most sacred sites in Malaysia.”

“The least she can do is make the pictures available on the Internet so we can all see just how disrespectful and offensive she’s been.”

“She looks really quite fit – except in the picture where she’s looking all sad for the Malaysian media – so it’s important we can see this disrespectful act for ourselves.”

Malaysian mountain nudity

The 23 year-old from Derbyshire pleaded guilty to ‘public disturbance’ on Mount Kinabalu earlier, but has left many frustrated the lack of freely available nudity.

“There’s a photo on the BBC website, but it’s rubbish. The girls are facing away from the camera, and they’ve still got bras on,” continued Mr Williams.

“You can’t see anything.”

Ms Hawkins has been sentenced to three days in prison for the offence, though Williams said he’d like compensation.

“Yes she’s got to serve three days, but I’ve lost two hours this morning trying to find these photos, so how do I get compensated for that, eh?”

Meanwhile representatives of Zoo magazine are currently camped outside the Malaysian prison ready to make an offer for a photo-shoot of Ms Hawkins with her chest out in front of a badly photoshopped and geographically inconsistent mountain.

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