Friday 12 June 2015 by DavyWavy

Mountain Gods demand more naked women, insists Malaysian shaman


Malaysian naked mountain stunt

Malaysian mountain gods have demanded more women strip off ‘to make sure they are genuinely cross about it’, according to a local shaman today.

The Gods are said be furious that a British tourist stripped off on their mountain, but want to be completely sure how they feel about it before inflicting their divine wrath.

Local tribal elders have interpreted the will of the gods through signs such as the coming of the east wind, the falling of the autumn rains, and the frenzied clicking of camera phones.

“The mountain spirit has indicated his anger, but we need to be absolutely certain,” a local shaman told us.

“For us to be certain of his will, many, many more women will have to whip their kit off on his regal slopes.”

“You know, tits, fanny – the lot.”

“Only then shall we truly know his will. Probably.”

Tourists have been told that to placate the offended deity they need to make a substantial offering, preferably in crisp new banknotes, although the mountain god also accepts major credit cards.

Initial reports that the gods wished for ‘ten buffalo heads’ were met with confusion by locals, who claimed they’d actually said they needed to see more ‘camel toes’.

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