Thursday 11 June 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Sir Tim Hunt forced to resign because of girls


Girls

Nobel Laureate Sir Tim Hunt has resigned from his honorary post at University College London because of girls.

“Let me tell you about the problem with girls,” said Sir Tim.

“They make you say things that mean you have to resign, and resigning is, frankly, terrible for a career in science.”

It is understood that Sir Tim’s problem with girls started at a young age when he asked Sharon Chaplin to the cinema to see 2001: A Space Odyssey and she called him a ‘fat spod wally’ and told him to ‘naff off.’

His problems continued throughout university where he continued to find it hard to relate to girls, no matter how much pornography he had access to.

But most recently he had a run in with girls during a rambling speech in South Korea when he claimed that girls were ‘silly’, and that in his experience they were “more interested in boys, dolls and ponies than in the serious business of science”.

He added that it’s “not fair that girls always go for the cool boys”.

Sir Tim will be cheering himself up be heading to local night club ‘Dukes’ in his best eze-iron suit, and staring at the girls dancing while slowly sipping half a lager on his own in the corner.

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