Thursday 11 June 2015 by DavyWavy

Christopher Lee to put fear of God into God


Christopher Lee

Christopher Lee, whose death was reported this afternoon, is set to put the fear of God into God, we can report.

The actor, 93, was well-known for his many talents including serving in the Special Forces during the second world war, opera, and his acting career.

God is understandably concerned at meeting someone more talented than Himself, but hopes to put a brave face on it.

Death, the gatherer of mortals since time immemorial, had studiously avoided Lee for decades out of ‘sincere respect’, and a desire to know what he would do next.

“Like everyone I was a big fan of his”, said Death. “Did you hear his heavy metal albums from a few years back? Awesome.”

“And frankly he was the only reason anyone would willingly watch Attack of the Clones more than once.”

“Look, I just wish I’d had his career, is all.”

“I might be the eternal personification of the futility of mortality, but I can’t help but think he’d have made a better fist of the role than me.”

“He had a better voice than me, for starters.”

A crowd of autograph hunters and groupies has apparently formed at the pearly gates in welcome.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about him if I were you,” added Death.

“Someone will pull the stake out sooner or later. They always do.”

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