Thursday 11 June 2015 by Gary Stanton

British expedition to scale Everest with their cocks out


Naked mountain climbing

A British mountaineering team hope to be the first to climb Everest naked from the waist down, just days after a group of tourists climbed Malaysia’s Mount Kinabalu with their tits out.

The expedition is the most daring of its kind since Sir Edmund Hilary’s ill-fated assault on the north face of the Eiger in arseless chaps, during which two sherpas died from exposure.

Expert mountaineer, Simon Williams said, “More than a thousand people have climbed Everest since we put the stair-lift in, but nobody has ever managed it with their knob out.”

“It represents the pinnacle of human endeavour.”

The twenty-strong team, led by prominent mountaineer John Goodier, will prepare for the mission by scaling the neighbouring K2 summit in the kind of macs worn by flashers.

Goodier’s team hope to gradually build up cold weather tolerance by revealing themselves at chosen locations along the way.

But sherpas fear the audacious bid could trigger a series of avalanches if the mountain gods are not impressed by what they see.

The British are facing stiff competition from a rival Norwegian team who claim they will be the first to put a man on the summit of Everest with a raging hard-on.

Williams added, “The freezing temperatures could result in severe cases of frostbite to exposed appendages. We strongly advise climbers to put a bit of slack in it.”

“And with ferocious blizzards where visibility drops to almost zero, you’d better make sure that’s a rope you’re grabbing hold of.”

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