Wednesday 10 June 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Astonishment as English football team goes abroad and doesn’t have racist orgy


England Women's team

There has been widespread astonishment as the England women’s football team have, so far, not taken part in any racist orgies whilst performing at the World Cup in Canada.

Just two weeks ago, Leicester City football club visited Thailand and almost immediately took part in a racist orgy.

This was widely seen as the culmination of footballers’ predilection to both racism and using their genitals ill-advisedly.

It had been expected that racist orgies would become a mainstay of England teams travelling abroad but reports suggest the women’s England team so far have avoided them.

“They’ve seen a few sights, and a number of them went for a meal on Friday,” said journalist Alison Lawrence.

“Laura Bassett did disappear for half an hour on Sunday morning, so naturally I assumed she’d gone to take part in a racist orgy.”

“But it turned out she just popped out for some milk.”

Women’s World Cup

It seems that the lack of racist orgies isn’t particularly endearing the team to traditional football fans.

“It’s poor,” said seat sniffer and racist orgy fan Simon Williams.

“I don’t know how they, as women, expect normal football fans to get behind them if they don’t take part in a few racist orgies like the male players would.”

“How can they ever truly hope to be considered as equals with the men’s sides, if they insist on behaving as well as this?”

However while many are praising the team for its restraint, there is a theory that it’s just because they’re in Canada, and it’s hard to find a good racist orgy in Canada.

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