Friday 5 June 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Greece acting like that arsehole you lent a fiver to six months ago


Greece debt default

Greece appear to have been taking financial advice from your supposed ‘friend’ you lent five quid to six months ago and who still hasn’t given it back, the shit.

The home of Zeus has said it won’t be paying back 300 million Euros to the IMF, but promises it will pay by the end of the month as that’s when Greece gets its wages from the pub where it works cash-in-hand; an excuse eerily similar to the one given by David Giddings, that mate of yours who only gets in touch when he wants something.

“Relax, mate” said a Greek spokesperson, opening a pack of fags it somehow managed to buy despite being skint.

“It’s only 300 million. Not exactly gonna break the bank, is it?”

“You’ll ‘ave it back by the end of the month, yeah? We’ll even throw in a bit extra for you.”

“Now chill out and get us a pint.”

Greece debt default

A spokesperson for the IMF said, “Seriously, they’re taking the piss now.”

“It’s not the money, it’s the principle. We lent it to them a long time ago now and they promised to pay it back, and now they’re saying they can’t because they’ve got to buy a new crockery set for the wife.”

“That’s their fault for smashing it in the first place. They really need to get their act together over there.”

The IMF has escalated the situation by posting a Facebook status saying “Tired of being taken advantage of now. Some people really have no sense of fiscal responsibility #notevenlying”

Germany commented on the status, asking “You ok hon?” to which the IMF replied in turn, saying “I don’t want to talk about it.”

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