Thursday 4 June 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Tories criticised for using stunt David Cameron during election


Stunt David Cameron

The Tory party has been criticised after it was revealed that they used a ‘stunt’ David Cameron at various points during their general election campaign.

Campaign manager Lynton Crosby explained, “If for example, David Cameron was expected to speak to a working class person, then we’d bring in a replacement or ‘stunt’ David Cameron.”

“It was something we considered essential due to Mr Cameron’s extraordinary loathing of anyone who earns less than 60k a year.”

“We were concerned that might factor against us in what was looking like a really close contest.”

“Of course, it’s since became apparent that he could have kicked every working class person he met up the arse and insulted their mother, and Labour still wouldn’t have been able to use it to their advantage.”

Stunt David Cameron

The ‘stunt’ David Cameron seems to have been used in numerous other situations such as smiling, waving, and looking concerned about things.

However, the use of the stunt Prime Minister doesn’t appeared to have bothered the public.

“Well, yeah, I mean, I’d have preferred to have known exactly what I was voting for,” said Tory supporter and fat renderer Simon Williams.

“But, I suppose, if you think about it, you can’t really expect the real Prime Minister to do anything like actually talk to people or be nice or anything.”

It is understood that David Cameron had wanted the retain the services of the ‘stunt’ David Cameron to deal with all Prime Ministerial engagements while he sat about eating Maltesers and watching ‘Diagnosis Murder’, but that plan was vetoed.

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