Thursday 4 June 2015 by Costa Questa

‘ISIS smashed my Mum’s ornaments’ insists naughty boy


Ornaments

A Nottinghamshire child who often plays ball games indoors when his parents are out has claimed ISIS militants smashed his mum’s favourite knick-knacks.

Little Jonny Williams, 10, says he watched in horror as a gang of masked thugs invaded his house while his Mum and Dad were at a garden centre on Sunday afternoon.

Speaking to journalists, he said: “I was just sat watching a repeat of the FA Cup Final on Sky.”

“I wasn’t kicking a tennis ball about the living room pretending to be Alexis Sanchez, because I know you shouldn’t play football indoors: it’s an outdoor game.”

“But then all of a sudden, these men burst in chucking vases on the floor and screaming ‘Allahu Akbar!’ It was very scary.”

Reportedly among the damaged items was a plant pot and one of those Greek looking statues of a nudie lady.

ISIS attack

Security experts have speculated that the development could mark the start of a dangerous new front in the war on terror.

“We’ve already seen them vandalising priceless antiquities in Mosul and Palmyra, now it seems they’re targeting us in our own homes,” scaremongered an unnamed GCHQ analyst.

“It seems like we’ve had a lucky escape this time, because most of Mrs William’s stuff was just gaudy tat from IKEA, but they only have to get lucky once.”

“The best chance we have of combatting this is by letting me read everyone’s text messages – especially the mucky ones. Hand over your phone.”

However, some sources have questioned the story.

One close family friend told us: “Jonny’s little sister Polly was in the house at the time and says it had nothing to do with ISIS.”

“She says Jonny did it with a tennis ball and then threatened to cut her Barbie’s hair off if she snitched on him.”

Police are investigating.

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