Wednesday 3 June 2015 by Gary Stanton

Queen stranded for twelve hours on NHS Trolley


Queen in hospital

HRH Queen Elizabeth II was left for twelve hours in a hospital corridor today after an NHS clerical error.

She who reigns over us was due for an annual routine check-up when a horrific mix up led to her being treated like an ordinary member of the public.

Due to severe NHS cutbacks at the Royal Kensington Hospital, the mistake went unnoticed and the high-ranking 89 year-old was forced to queue behind an Iraqi woman awaiting bowel surgery.

At 12.06pm the monarch tweeted “Still waiting to be seen by a doctor #NHS #RoutineFuckUp“

Elizabeth then spent the next few hours asking various members of overworked staff ‘What do you do?”

Later that evening, she sent the following furious tweet: “Lying on a trolley saturated in my own urine. I am far from happy and fucking glorious I can tell you that. #NHSFail #BrokenBritain.”

Junior doctor, Simon Williams, said, “This old bird kept saying she was the Queen of England and that she’d have my head on a plate, but I just assumed she had mental health issues.”

The Queen added, “Luckily, I brought some ID with me and we managed to resolve the whole silly mistake, but not before I’d soaked the entire floor.”

“I wouldn’t have minded but it was me who opened this c*nting place.”

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