Monday 1 June 2015

England team agree to boycott knockout stages of 2018 World Cup


World cup boycott

The English football team will stand in defiance against the corruption at the heart of FIFA by going out in the group stages of the next World Cup in Russia.

After talks long into the night at FA headquarters in Wembley stadium, officials said that the compromise will allow players to gain some tournament experience, whilst simultaneously showing the FA’s displeasure at how FIFA are running the game.

FA spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “The way FIFA are ruining the beautiful game simply can not go on.”

“If that means that England have to voluntarily sacrifice a place in the knock-out stages in order to highlight that fact, then so be it.”

“And if we have to lose a couple of games and scrape a draw against someone like Costa Rica – then we are prepared to do it.”

England World Cup boycott

England captain Wayne Rooney spoke of his backing for the FA’s plan.

“I think FIFA are terrible, and people have to remember this game is not all about money. Except at contract renewal time, obviously.”

“So I wanted to help the FA, but I wasn’t very happy boycotting the whole tournament.”

“But boycotting the knockout stages is OK, as it takes the pressure off when we don’t get there anyway.”

“And like the men in the suits said, we now have a ready-made excuse when we play badly despite every tabloid insisting ‘this is our time’ in the six months before the tournament begins.”

“Apparently we’ll be able to come home with our heads held high instead of overnight into Luton terminal 57.”

“So that’s something.”

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