Monday 1 June 2015

Aston Villa stayed behind at Wembley to enjoy ‘shot on target’


Wembley Stadium

Aston Villa’s losing FA Cup final team stayed behind on Saturday evening in order to find out what it’s like to have a shot on target at England’s world-famous stadium.

Despite spending 90 minutes fruitlessly chasing Arsenal players around the pitch before picking the ball out of their own net four times, the Villa players were keen to return to the pitch after everyone had gone home to ‘see what a shot on target feels like’.

The groundsman and his staff were forced to wait for over an hour whilst various members of the playing squad attempted to hit the ball in the general direction of the empty net at the end where most Villa fans had been sat several hours earlier.

As one witness explained, “It was a bit sad really, they only had one ball, so when each player missed they had to go and fetch it.”

“Which took ages when Tom Cleverley had a go, as it got stuck behind a chair in row L.”

“Shot after shot missed the target, with Fabian Delph and Jack Grealish seemingly insistent on passing outside to non-existent wingers every time they got close to the 18 yard line.”

“Eventually we had to turn the floodlights off – they cost a fortune to run you know.”

“It was dark for about 30 seconds when we heard Gabby Agbonlahor cheer and claim to not only have hit the target, but to have scored in the empty net.”

“But we have goal-line technology now, it didn’t cross the line, I assure you.”

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