Friday 29 May 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Children to strike over reduction in pocket-money


Children to strike over pocket money

Children have announced that they intend to strike over the reduction of their pocket-money, in real money terms, over the past twenty years.

After balloting members of the child community, there will now be a 48-hour walk-out starting at 5pm on Wednesday.

During this period, children will not be adorable, will not play football with Dad, and will not make themselves available for cute Facebook videos of them falling off things.

“We have been pushed too far,” said children’s representative Ben, 6.

“For years, we’ve tried to maintain a frank and open negotiation with parents over the pocket-money issue, only to be told that ‘if you want any extra, you’ll have to help out more,’ or ‘you’ll have to learn to save more,’ and most galling of all, ‘that’s more than I got when I was your age’ – when, if you adjust for inflation, it’s clearly not.”

“In real-terms we’ve been taking cuts year on year for far too long.”

“So, it is with great regret that we find ourselves having to take industrial action,” he continued before farting, covering his face with his hands and having a giggling fit.

However, it is understood they have abandoned their demands for discretionary ice-cream and sweets for going with Mum on the big-shop.

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