Friday 29 May 2015 by DavyWavy

Arrested FIFA officials refusing to allow use of video evidence


FIFA not allowing video evidence

FIFA has insisted that video evidence should be discounted in the arrest of its senior officials, we can report this morning.

The footballing body has suggested that incidents of wrongdoing which were not directly witnessed by officials should not be considered, and suggested police simply allow play to continue, even if they become clear on video later.

“The use of video replay technology might disrupt the flow of money. Play. I meant play,” said a spokesman for the organisation.

“It’s important to allow people to get on with the important business of running football without having to stop every five minutes just because a video might show someone stuffing a million dollars in unmarked bills into a suitcase or whatever.”

“Over the course of a career, we think it will all even out anyway.”

“And remember, grassroots judicial systems don’t have access to video evidence, and it’s important that prosecutions at the top work in exactly the same way as they do at the bottom of the legal system.”

FIFA video evidence

After the arrests, members of FIFA are alleged to have surrounded law-enforcement officials and tried shouting at them until they change their minds.

“Clearly the police are blind,” added the spokesman.

“Not that this is any reason to allow video replays, oh no siree.”

When asked for comment Sepp Blatter fell to the ground clutching his leg and had to be carried off.

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