Thursday 28 May 2015

FIFA’s chief negotiator heads to US to make FBI offer they can’t refuse


Fifa negotiator

FIFA has sent its top envoy to the US to try to sort out the minor mis-understanding with the FBI over alleged corruption charges.

FIFA’s chief negotiator Paolo Moretti landed stateside a few hours ago and is already sitting with the heads of the FBI departments concerned to ‘resolve this matter amicably’.

Former FIFA employee Simon Williams said Moretti is well-known within the organisation for fixing issues FIFA executives had resigned themselves to being beyond solving.

“He’s something of an enigma,” said Williams.

“No-one really knows anything about Moretti, except he gets the job done and he’s very, very scary.”

“I spoke to one of my former colleagues inside FIFA about his sudden US trip, and they didn’t know what his negotiating plan is, but apparently he wanted to know if any of the FBI agents involved in the investigation owned a horse.”

“I’m guessing so he could take them some sort of equine based gift?”

FIFA negotiator

Though Mr Moretti was not available for comment, one of his assistants explained, “This is just a friendly conversation amongst business associates – nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Mr Moretti will visit with the FBI and within an hour he’ll have signed release forms for all FIFA officials concerned.”

“He knows how to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

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