Wednesday 27 May 2015 by DavyWavy

Tony Blair resigns in glory after bringing peace to the Middle East


Tony Blair resigns as peace envoy

Tony Blair has resigned as Middle East peace envoy after ushering in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity to the region.

The former Prime Minister accepted the role in 2009 and has been instrumental in securing a lasting cessation of hostilities in what was until recently a trouble spot.

Regional leaders praised Blair for his involvement in the region, and issued a statement that his achievements would be long remembered.

“Blair has worked tirelessly for peace for his entire career,” said a spokesman for Tony Blair’s office with a perfectly straight face.

“We are very confident that his activities in the Middle East will result in his being remembered as a tough negotiator, but ultimately a peacebringer.”

“I believe that without Tony Blair’s involvement the Fertile Crescent would be a far worse place today,” he added with only a barely noticeable twitch.

It is reported that ISIS guns in Ramadi fired a 100-volley salute in respect of his achievements at the news.

Blair is actively looking for a new role in geopolitical affairs, and reports indicate the UN is looking to offer him a job in some of the world’s most problematical flashpoints.

“We’re going to ask him to talk to Vladimir Putin about the Ukraine, and explain why it’s wrong to go round invading places based on some shit you just made up,” we were told.

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