Thursday 21 May 2015

We’ll get to tax avoiders after we’ve got some pennies from illegal immigrants, insists government


Illegal immigrants wages seized

The government has insisted it has every intention of getting to the millions of pounds of avoided tax, just as soon as it’s finished getting twenty quid here and there from illegal immigrants.

With planned new powers that would allow the government to seize wages from people working illegally, everyone asked why they can’t get new powers seize the wages of people not paying as much tax as they should.

A government spokesperson said, “I see what you’re getting at, and it might seem like our priorities are in the wrong place, but it’s really not as simple as us choosing to chase poor people rather than rich people.”

“For example, the people avoiding tax have accountants and lawyers and advisors – all of whom make it very difficult to get at their money – we can’t just knock on their door and demand it.”

“Plus, if you’ve been hassling someone to get at their money all week it’s quite hard to then look them in the eye at the country club at the weekend – and we’d rather avoid all that unpleasantness.”

“But, on the flip side, we can easily send a policeman round to empty the wallets of as many illegal immigrants as he can find – no problem at all.”

“An average policeman could maybe claw back a couple of hundred quid in one day, that’s got to be worth it, right?”

“See what I mean? Low hanging fruit and all that.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: