Thursday 21 May 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Millions of commuters pretending to be happy rail strike is cancelled


Rail strike cancelled

Commuters all across the country have spent the afternoon in the office wearing fake smiles, and pretending to be really pleased that Tuesday planned rail strike has been cancelled.

“It’s been really difficult,” said office-dwelling wage slave Simon Williams.

“All afternoon, I’ve been saying as loudly as possible that I’m really pleased that the strike’s cancelled, whilst simultaneously cancelling an evening of planned heavy drinking on Monday.”

For the past week, commuters have been pretending to be really annoyed about the impending rail strike because they’ve ‘just got so much on at the moment, I could really do without having to work at home.”

“Obviously, I’d been thrilled at the prospect of a rail strike but whenever my boss has walked past I’ve had to make a big do of how inconvenient it is, and how the bloody layabout unions should just pull their fingers out and get on with it,” continued Mr Williams.

“Now, not only has it blown my four-day weekend out of the water, but I’ve got to pretend to be thrilled about it.”

Mr Williams’ manager was unavailable for comment as he was frantically trying to change his return tickets to Paris with a ‘young companion’ from Tuesday to Monday.

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