Wednesday 20 May 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Tories to replace BBC licence fee with Kickstarter campaign


BBC licence fee replaced with Kickstarter campaign

David Cameron has announced that the Tories will scrap the TV licence fee and the BBC will instead be funded by a Kickstarter campaign.

“Kickstarter is the perfect funding option for the BBC,” said the Prime Minister.

“Largely because I won’t have to do anything.”

David Cameron is well-known to be a fan of Kickstarter after helping fund new PC Game ‘Pillars of Eternity’ and spending hours during boring EU negotiations levelling up his gnome, which is almost certainly not a euphemism.

“As with all Kickstarter campaigns, the public can pay as much or as little as they want,” continued the PM.

“The lowest tier will be at five pounds, for that you’ll get unlimited Eastenders and all your devices.”

“Whereas the top tier will be a thousand pounds and for that, Jeremy Paxman will come round to your house every week and call you a liar for thirty minutes.”

It is understood that by removing the compulsory public funding of the BBC, the Tories hope to address the perceived journalistic bias of the corporation.

“With this private funding, we hope that we will be able to finally stamp out the impartiality of the BBC, and get them in line with the Tory print media,” said Mr Cameron.

“Anything that makes the Government’s life easier has got to be a good thing, right?”

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