Monday 18 May 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Liberal Democrat Leadership contest to be decided by Musical Chairs


Musical Chairs to select Lib Dem leader

The Liberal Democrats have announced that their new leader will be chosen by playing Musical Chairs.

“A meeting of all elected Lib Dem MPs will take place in the function room above ‘The Crown’ inn in Putney,” said a spokesman for the party yesterday.

“I mean, not in the large function room, obviously.”

It is expected that the eight Liberal Democrat MPs will gather around lunchtime.

“The Crown will provide a couple of tubes of Pringles, we don’t have the budget for much more and it would only be a waste.”

After eight MPs have eaten all their Pringles and shaken the crumbs from the bottom of the tube, they’ll have a brief chat about how everything would be better if people were a bit nicer to each other and then the leadership contest will begin.

“The plan is to set up a circle of seven chairs, then we’ll play ‘Everything is Awesome’ from the Lego movie and when the music stops everyone has to sit down.”

“The person left standing has to be leader.”

The Lib Dems are not the only party to be staging a leadership contest. UKIP will decide their new leader by everyone stabbing each other in the back until they run out of knives and Labour will decide on their new leader by doing what the Unions tell them.

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